Gruff voice, stiff neck, a constant hard-on and machismo oozing out in an ugly way is a description of a couple of men I have seen around. I am talking of two journalists in town whom I consider worth writing about because their entire demeanour actually hides the sense of inferiority they feel vis-a-vis, what in military language, will be called their 'lady' wives. I am sure there are many more in town who will fit this description but I am most certain about the two characters I have in mind. The reason I mention their complex is because in these two cases it has lead them right into the lap of military men. Just imagine living your life with a woman who is far superior to you as a person but also emotionally, professionally and as a person. In one of the cases, the lady wife was the source of a lot of doors opening in terns of opportunities. She is much more comfortable in all respects. He marries her not just because he fell in love but also because of the comforts she has around her - money, house at a good location or even better passport. But marriage is the beginning of a whole set of problems. The relationship is a constant reminder of what you don't have as a man. There is a time you don't even feel like a man. I am sure part of them feels like a gigolo. At times like this, a shot of power would help. You try different options available in life which includes sleeping around, building your muscles until you think that you have begun to look like a character from Bollywood. However, it still doesn't fulfil your appetite.
Am I being melodramatic. May be. But what I am actually struggling with is to understand if the fact that these two men I know from fairly close walked into the military's trap and agreed to become its mouthpieces has anything to do with their inherent inferiority complex versus their life partners? The sudden rush of blood when people in uniform with brass tucked on their shoulders and chest salute you and take you around and into important building. The excitement at being considered an expert who is summoned frequently into secret corridors for briefings and the sense that the men on horseback are so impressed with your English (because that they are) which makes you indispensable. You are invited to their messes, inside their homes and offices and told of your valuable patriotism. Their problem or lets call it predicament is deeper because known as liberal-secular and educated they can no longer behave like ruffians from some small village or town who cannot appreciate the worth if a woman and so beats her the moment she does something wrong. After all, these are English speaking modern men one of whom even speaks English with an accent. But there is something that burns inside - the idea of proving that they are more capable than these women whom they might have treated differently had they not been trapped in this middle class society in which they have to behave like honourable Englishmen.
I wonder if anyone can help solve the mystery? Please try to think about the question and not get bogged down figuring out who am I talking about.